A tale wherein The Merlin Birde eate their lunche

And it came to pass that members of thee bande and various of their friends were seated to partake of their luncheon, for the hour was late, and they hungered. 

And food and wine and all manner of good things were brought unto their table that they might partake thereof. 

And after thankes were given they ate of the food, and drank of the water, and of the wine.  And Dan said ‘Yea verily, for it is good’, and did eat thereof.  And Geoff also said ‘Yea verily, for it is good’, and ate he also thereof.  And likewise did their friends testify unto the goodness of the luncheon, and ate thereof.

But Dave partook not of his luncheon and summoned unto the table the waitress, saying “Lo, for this is like not unto that which I ordered”.  But the waitress rebuked him, saying “Nay, for thou orderest the number 27 with extra artichokes, and thus have I brought unto thee”.  But Dave was wroth, and there was weeping (from Dave) and gnashing of teeth (from everyone else, while they ate).

And Dave saith to Dan, ‘Pray render unto me somewhat of your lunch, that I also may eat of that which is good’.  But Dan refused him, and asked of Dave why he ordered the pancakes with artichokes anyway, for it was a dish exceeding strange. Then did Dave say unto Geoff, ‘Pray let us exchange our lunches that I may partake of thine, and thou of mine.’  But Geoff uttered an Profanity, and said ‘Just as I covet not thy lunch, covet not thou mine, for though it is written that all may create lunches of their own devising, wherein is the goodness thereof if thy lunch has not savour?’  And Dave said unto Geoff ‘Sayeth thou then that my lunch sucks?’, and Geoff said ‘Yea verily, for it is like not unto my lunch, which is actually quite good, being free of excessive artichokes.’

And Dave, perceiving the error of his ways, ordered an dessert that he may have somewhat to eat.  And selected he an Sticky Date Pudding with Treacle and extra Beetroot.  And the waitress rolled her eyes unto the heavens, but did undertake to bring unto him that which he had ordered of her.  And thus was Dave made happy, if but for a little time …

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